32 years ago, at the young age of 21, I said yes, I would marry Mark. Our love story is one of the things I am most proud of. It’s not because of luck, we have gotten here. It’s been work in many ways, nothing has ever been more important than “us.” We truly never left our marriage to chance. It’s been a priority in both our lives to stay close, in love and maybe more importantly, “in like.” Our marriage has come above our relationship with our children but never above our relationship with God. Having a relationship with God has made our marriage more solid. I have always said Mark is my rock, my biggest supporter but without my faith and trust in God, that would not be true. I thank God, almost every night, (as I fall asleep in Mark’s arms) for this wonderful man I share life with. I know we were meant to meet, because in many ways, it is just easy. But we’ve survived a lot of crap. Not very eloquent, but very true. Even in the worst of times, we found time for each other. There were years we just couldn’t trust others to care for our kids, Teale was so unpredictable, we were too scared to leave her with others. Those years were the most difficult, they were such dark times without much hope. We were determined to find time as a couple because we were sure, it wouldn’t be easier apart. We tried to be creative at dating; a candlelight dinner for two after the kids were asleep, a couch date, with a fire in the fireplace or our favorite, a DayDate, while the kids were safely in school. We would carve out time anyway we could. We also attended counseling a few different seasons in our marriage. It was not because we were struggling with each other, but because Teale’s behaviors were so difficult on both of us and our family. It helped us sort out the pain and worry. Counseling helped us see what the other felt and how to walk the journey more kindly, with each other. Honestly, at times, the pain of raising Teale was more than either of us could bare. She wasn’t just difficult to live with for us, she also, deeply affected Beau and Gwenn. Her need for constant care made it impossible for us to give them the attention they deserved. Often, divided, we would have to attend things separately to get through. I know our young children couldn’t understand all the sacrifices we made to get through the days. Weekends and school vacations were the most challenging times. Teale out of program and routine was horrific. So, between trying to keep her safe, the other two safe from her explosive and often violent behavior, finding time for us as a couple could have suffered. But, Mark and I were determined to stay a loving couple. 32 years later and in much easier times, I can say, it was worth it! I’m proud of our partnership and know, no matter what comes next, we will always make us a priority! Happy Valentine’s Day my Dear!
