Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Dr Dave

 I haven’t completely processed this, but we are officially done at Pittsford Pediatrics. To say we were well cared for there, would be a gross understatement.

We started with Dr Matteo Lopreiato in 1995, when I was pregnant with Beau. He soon would be referred to as Dr Matt. His demeanor was exactly what I liked, straightforward and honest. Beau’s birth would be difficult, Dr Matt would hold my hand through the worry of him being born blue and in the NICU for a week. Our first few years with Beau were riddled with worry, ear infections and strep throat seemed to be way too often. A constant ball of energy, Beau would keep us on our toes. Dr Matt was sometimes brutally honest. He would tell us things we probably didn’t want to hear about our parenting style. Not so gently correcting us. 

Soon Teale was on her way, the worry during her pregnancy was often too much for me. Dr Matt could talk me down, in a different way from Mark. The birth more complicated than anyone expected. Dr Matt sat in my hospital room and gave us the facts. I, apparently not ready for all the information he was throwing at me, fell asleep. Mark and I still talk about how I fell asleep while Dr Matt talked. After Teale’s two months in the NICU, the next few years with him would be constant. Teale would be seen by several specialists and Dr Matt very often. He would help keep things “real.” Interpreting what they all said and managing her care. 

I would soon be pregnant with Gwenn. Dr Matt would call me before announcing his leaving the Rochester area to move back home (CT) with his family. I was heartbroken, how would I ever find another Dr Matt? He encouraged me to stay with the young doctor he had hand selected to take over for him. 

When I met this doctor, I remember thinking he was as young as Doogie Howser. Younger than Mark and I, there was no way he’d understand all we’ve been through with Dr Matt. Starting over was painful. I had to explain much of our children’s history, but, I could tell this doctor was genuine. He was invested in giving us the best care. He did something I had found many doctors had not, he actually read Teale’s back history charts. Educating himself on her, so I didn’t have to relive every painful moment, while repeating her history. Dr Dave Topa would be an excellent replacement, his new eyes and a new demeanor, I would grow to fully trust and count on. I remember one time, in one of our many times of crisis, I told him, he was our number one. He was the first person after Mark and I, who truly got us and what we have lived through. He understood and cared about our children, but our relationship went far deeper than that. He truly cared about Mark and I. Our well being was taken into account too. Dr Dave would listen to our fears, our pain, our worries. He would manage care between several doctors, he would advocate on Teale’s behalf and he would interpret when needed. Teale would monopolize our relationship with Dr Dave, but he was good at making us focus on each of our children individually. Our relationship hit a higher level the year Teale stopped regulating body temperature. Her temperature running at approximately 99.7-101.7 for months. We would run all sorts of tests, see specialist, the infectious disease team would see her, nothing would be found. Dr Dave would go to bat for us with the school district that she could be at school. Our having her home for an extended time, would have mentally fried us. He was sure whatever it was, it wasn’t contagious. We would learn individuals with brain injury could stop regulating body temperature. He didn’t take this change lightly though, we were to report her temperature 3X a day. To do this more efficiently, I texted him the information to his personal cell. He had given me his number years before and I had been careful not to abuse this. Back then unlimited texting was not a normal part of cell plans. When he told me he changed his cell plan to accommodate us, well, I was impressed. Teale’s temperature regulating would eventually return to normal, but educational advocacy would continue. Dr Dave would sit in on many school district meetings with us. He would help us fight for Holy Childhood and for Teale to get all she needed and deserved in life. Dr Dave would be harsh, when he felt he needed. In one instance, he would insist we hospitalize Teale in the inpatient psychiatric unit because Teale had stopped sleeping and Mark and I were completely depleted. Dr Dave saw us through the worst times of our lives. He saw us cry, too many times to count. He helped figure out the cocktail of medications to cure seizures, to regulate moods, to stop the decline of CKD, to regulate her thyroid as it was being attacked by her body and more. Dr Dave was there when Teale collapsed in his office, her heartbeat plummeted and she was grey. Dave stayed calm, while I cried and my favorite nurse comforted me. That nurse passed away suddenly years later. I attended her funeral, feeling a deep loss for a woman who showed us much compassion and love. Also, I can not fail to mention Dr Dave’s wife. She was never far from my thoughts when Dave called or texted or met me at the office on “off hours.” I would often tell him to apologize to her for me. 

Walking away last week, after handling in my release for Gwenn to see an adult doctor, was surreal. 1995-2021 we got to know the staff and they knew us. I could call and most knew my voice. Most knew if I was calling I needed to be heard. 

Gwenn was ready for a female adult doctor, I’m just not sure I was ready to say goodbye to Pittsford Pediatrics. Thank you to everyone there. May you know how very much we counted on you, and Dr Dave, to get us through some of the toughest times of our life. I can not imagine our lives with out your care. May God Bless you, Dr Dave, and may you continue to be there as a friend, to our family. 


P.S. the reason we chose Pittsford Pediatrics was because Mark had also gone there as a child