Thursday, January 26, 2017

Abortion is...

As I drove past the Mother Teresa billboard on 390 East this morning, so much went through my head.
"Abortion is the greatest destroyer of peace."
As I passed the sign, with my 18 year old daughter, who I had just been granted guardianship of, I thought of her journey. I thought of the moment I was told she had gastroschisis. I thought of the offer, actually, the push, in that consult room, for us to have a late term abortion.
My head has been spinning in so many different directions after reading that quote. Mother Teresa is a woman I admire, a woman I think of, as an angel on earth. She helped so many with her kind acts and with her deep, spiritual thought.
But that quote seems destructive, divisive and even cruel. I personally struggle with abortion. I do believe a soul is made at conception. I believe in a God and in his will of a child to come to us.
There is something in her quote that speaks to me though, after all, if Teale had never been born, I may have never known peace. Her life has much meaning, it has changed hearts and expanded mine. Mark, just the other day, bragged to our court appointed lawyer for Teale's guardianship ~ "Teale's life has made us closer as a family and strengthened our love."
 Life without Teale is unfathomable, my purpose here on Earth was changed the moment she came into my heart. So in some ways the quote speaks to me, peace surely would have been destroyed, had I aborted Teale. My own soul may have forever struggled?
But then there's the other side, the unthinkable "what if." What if Teale were ever violated or were to become pregnant? She could not safely grow a child in her body. The medications Teale needs to stay mentally and physically well, would surely harm an unborn child. To take Teale off those same medications for the health of a baby, could easily kill Teale. She has severe mood disregulation, bi polar disease and Epilepsy that are all well controlled on medications. Taking away any of her needed medications could spiral her issues and be quite disastrous.
So in this case, I see the need for a choice, I see that even though we take precautions to protect Teale, a pregnancy could occur and I would need to chose her life over an unborn baby...
Mother Teresa has been quoted many times, her deep spirit is an inspiration to many, but this quote troubles me.
It is an age old argument whether abortion should be legal or not. The reasons on both sides are great, but in the end, it is a personal choice.
For me, I continue to remain conflicted. If I had been easily swayed in that room 18 and a half years ago, where would I be today? Surely I would not be as loved or know love as deeply...