Tonight is a fun night for Teale and myself. We invited a friend of her's to see one of Mark's band's perform. To many, this may not seem like a big deal, after all, Teale is 19 years old and Mark plays out a lot in several bands. But for Teale and I, it is a very special night. In her free time, she has been mostly isolated from peers, much of her life. Not for lack of trying on Mark and my part, but just because the population Teale is a part of, is often too overwhelmed to socialize. Sadly, Mark and I are Teale's entertainment, basically anytime outside of her programs. There are many factors that make connecting very difficult in Teale's world. Kids come from all over to attend her programs, so peers may not live in the same towns or even the same county. Families tend to keep to themselves a lot, testing the waters outside their comfort zones is often too scary. I have pushed to connect with Teale's peers over the years, but find it is often not reciprocal, so then I give up. I'm not sure how the many families I have tried to be social with feel, but my pushing to give Teale friendships often feels like just that, I'm the one pushing. I get that it's more difficult to step outside what we are comfortable in, especially with our "kids" who are so unpredictable. I have had many times that I have failed miserably at getting Teale to do something different, socially. So in many ways, it's easier for me too, to do our usual on weekends and entertain her ourselves. I guess I have just always wanted more for Teale. I have so wanted a real friend for her, one like I had at her age is a big dream of mine. So tonight is very special to me. I can hope it's at the least a fun night of memories, but my heart dreams of a lifetime connection, that will fill both girl's with joy!
