Some days are a roller coaster with Teale. She cycles fast and furious, super happy, then super angry several times a day. The key is for all around her to stay calm and not get too emotional. Showing emotions just escalates her behaviors. Of course we slip up here and there, laughing because it’s all so ridiculous or snapping ourselves! But we’ve mostly trained ourselves to stay flat. Sometimes I even impress myself, staying calm, when she is completely exploding. Today was a roller coaster day. I’m emotionally drained and trying to regain some peace in my soul, but all I can feel is the stress. Stress in a life with a child, (who is now an adult) with special needs and several mental health issues, go hand in hand. Families like us are often stressed, trying to just survive the day to day. Today I had fleeting thoughts of running away. I’m guessing this happens to everyone? We all wonder about just disappearing and starting over fresh, with none of the past to worry about. As I worked through the day of emotional highs and lows, I tried to remember how far Teale has come. Days like today were good days, in some of our most challenging times. I tried to remind myself that this cycle will pass and soon Teale will be more even again. The thing is, it’s been going on longer than I have even admitted to myself. We are on weeks and weeks of unregulated behaviors and many days of fast cycles. We’ve tried figuring out if it’s physical or if it’s mental? I have taken Teale to out pediatrician several times and to specialists also. We’ve worked with doctors to change medications and at times I’ve had hope those are helping her. I know we will either figure this out or it will pass, but when I’m stuck in these stages of helplessness, I again realize how little control I have.
