Last night Mark and I attended a band performance. It was in a small room in a library. The libraries in our area often host music groups. This one was Irish music in honor of St Patrick’s Day. Most of the attendees were older folks and, so were the band members. When we walked in, with Teale in tow, it was obviously an audience who wanted silence, to listen to the music. It wasn’t really what I expected, I’m not sure I would have taken Teale, if I knew the set up. A small room with chairs spaced wide and an audience with a sea of white haired people. We were obviously different. Teale has a certain presence that is sometimes difficult to contain. She can be loud, joyful and honest. I knew it wasn’t what she expected as we walked in. When we told her we were going to see a friend play music, she was excited. We often take her to see bands. She probably expected a bar, or a restaurant though. She loves going to a place to get a drink or food and hang with our friends to see a band. Usually she is seeing her Dad perform, but sometimes we go see other local bands with Teale. As we walked in last night I wondered how she’d do. I even considered leaving. Teale doesn’t know how to whisper and the silence was obviously of concern. We walked in anyhow, and went to seats at the back. As Teale walked to her seat, she tripped over a person’s feet, that was an auspicious beginning. I was a tad on edge as people stared. The music was fun, but the audience didn’t match the joy, they seemed serious, like you might expect when watching an orchestra performance. If you have ever heard Teale’s laugh, it can fill a room. As Mark moved to the music, Teale would start to laugh, but because her laughter is so unfiltered and loud, people looked at us with obvious curiosity, or maybe, it was disgust, so I shushed Teale. I wasn’t sure what to do, I wanted to see our friend’s perform, but it was tough to have a silent audience, in such happy music. Well, we stayed, but the whole time I worried about Teale’s voice booming in the silence. She did ok, actually she did well, if you ask me. Although, with the annoyed looks from some of the people around us, I’m not sure all would agree. At the end of the performance, Teale, Mark and I talked to the band. Teale wanted to meet my friend in the band. As we talked, I was struck by Teale’s demeanor, she loves people, meeting new people, seeing old friends, it doesn’t matter, she just wants to be included. Her joy could have filled the room during the music, but I had to squelch it, to fit in with the audience. That struck me as kind of sad. I thought about how much more fun it would have been, both for the band and the audience, had the room been filled with laughter and joy! There just wasn’t a feeling of acceptance of the unexpected. Families with young children and special needs, like us, may have tried to come to these performances that the library hosts. But maybe they felt the same disapproval, and hadn’t come back? I guess I’m frustrated because music at a library should be an inclusive event, but it felt like we shouldn’t be there. As we drove home, Mark and I talked how the evening wasn’t what we expected. Then Teale started cranking Christmas music, so we laughed and sang along to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” life is funny.
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!
