22 came & went. It wasn’t unrecognized but it was more low key than usual. Teale was born December 9th, 1998. It was a day I never seem to “get over.” The grief comes & often it takes hold of me before I realize what I’m feeling. This year was different, we celebrated with just us & Beau’s girlfriend. Dinner, gifts, cake, plus many video chats and a visit from my sister & niece. It was “enough,” which if you understand Teale, is all I could hope for. She loves a big celebration, she’s much like me, her soul craves connections to lots of people. I enjoy this about her, she has brought so many to us.
A few years ago, I just started taking Teale with me anywhere I went. Mark was involved in several bands and playing around town often. Instead of getting a sitter at our house, if the gig was early, I brought Teale along. She loves music, she loves her Dad, she loves being surrounded by friends. It became the norm to have her as my partner in crime. We would head out and listen to her Dad sing and play sax. Often Mark would be gigging with his brothers, this would make it even more special. Teale loves her Uncles & often their wives, friends or their children would also tag along. Seeing family and friends more often, really brought her much joy. Then there are the “regulars,” the music enthusiasts who come to many gigs. The fans who become friends and the friends who become fans. We often would have people at gigs who knew Teale, who knew her story and were kind and patient. Teale loves to be with people who appreciate her Dad’s music and who she could talk and laugh with.
During COVID, the loss of this has hit us all hard. We miss live music, we miss family & friends. But, in some ways, the slower pace has done us all good. That’s why Teale accepted a lower key Birthday. COVID has brought us many losses, but it has also given us many gifts. A year ago I could not have pictured a Birthday celebration like we had, but in many ways, it was perfect. It was celebrated quietly, with those who know how difficult the journey has been.
If you ask me what year I have loved in my life, I would say 22. At 22 I married the love of my life and began this journey. Teale will never have the same opportunity, so 22 is tough to swallow. It’s another loss, another year of in my face reality, that her life is somewhat stagnant. She continues to age, but the journey is still the same, Mark and I care for her. 22 for me, was the beginning of a beautiful adventure. My best friend and I growing together as a couple. Teale will never have a relationship like I’ve had, but, she sure has made mine stronger.
