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Monday, December 12, 2016

The Son I haven't Met

It would be difficult to write what Mark & I experienced at Lily Dale last week, but the strengthening in my beliefs are profound.
We were told a few times that we were meant to be together & the events we have lived had to happen, to increase our bond, so we could deal with the challenges.
I have always believed in a God & a spiritual connection to our loved ones who have passed, but after ruminating over the information that was shared with us last week, I have felt the presence of those we've lost even more.
The book, Heaven is for Real, although simple, had moved me when I read it a few years ago. I especially connected with the part where the boy met his unborn sister, who his Mother had miscarried & never told him about, when he visited Heaven.
I have often felt the presence of a child I miscarried, between the births of Beau & Teale. Although society may not believe that child to be "real," because it was early in my pregnancy, to me, he was & I've always missed him.
At that time, that loss was very difficult, I, like most, felt a strong, instant connection & had hopes & dreams, as soon as I found out I was expecting. Mark too suffered the loss, but he was strong & supported my grief with much love & respect.
That baby was due on Mark's Birthday, so every year, while celebrating my sweet husband, I have also thought about the baby I never met.
The medium saw him, our baby, who I've always known was with me. He spoke to her & told us "he had to be," to make way for Teale. He strengthened both Mark & I, physically & emotionally, to deal with what was to come.
The bond we developed over that loss made our marriage more "meaningful." Mark was fabulous at supporting my grief & has never once made me feel like I am over exaggerating that loss. It was & is real for me, I still shed tears wondering who that child would have been & how different our life would have been with that child here & Teale never born. Teale was conceived after the miscarriage, but before the due date of the baby we lost, making her birth impossible, if we had carried that baby full term. The birth of Teale was welcomed, because we had "lost" & knew the gift of a baby to be a true miracle.
The medium said ~ "We were truly touched by an Angel." She knew details only Mark & I understood & she gave me, through Mark, some justification for the feelings I have had all these years.
Ironically the message was really given to Mark, not to me, but maybe that was our son's way of letting Mark know that he is with us, because, the truth is, I already knew.

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