Is there anything more exhausting than worry? It consumes and shows it's ugly head in so many ways. For me, worry pops up in my sleep and eating habits, I sleep less and I eat more. I look for energy in foods that ultimately just drain me of energy. I crave sugars and mostly "comfort foods." Right now I hate my body and basically that feeling seeps out in many ways. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin and find it difficult to dress daily. Right now, not much fits me, so I stare into my closet of clothes wishing I could wear this or that. I've heard cortisone levels go up with stress, I kinda doubt mine are ever "normal." There are few, if not, no times, in our life that there isn't some amount of extra Teale stress going on. School breaks are tough, holidays are tough, everyday living has many unforeseen challenges. Everyday tasks that need to be accomplished with Teale, can be fun or they can be a nightmare. Her moods change on a dime. She is sweet and cooperative one minute and the next she could be raging for what appears to be "no apparent" reason. I'm a stress eater, always have been. I guess I make excuses for my stress eating. My mind makes excuses ~ "Eating is better than some of the other bad habits I could pick up." I've seen much alcoholism and many drug addictions in my lifetime. I've also seen a lot of generally miserable people, lost in their own worlds of depression and self medicating. Maybe they don't have support or love? Who knows why some of us deal with life in one way or another? I often feel blessed because I have Mark, he helps keep my spirit from falling when the pressures mount. He doesn't criticize or judge the many thousand times my body has changed in the course of our lifetime together. The only thing important to Mark is my well being. He loves me and shows that deep love always. The catch though, is that he knows I am happier when I am healthier and a size I am comfortable in. So as we go through all the new medical and mental issues with our daughter, I have decided that as stressful as it is to get back on the path to healthy, it is more stressful, not to.
