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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Thanksgiving Weekend



For those who are not on FaceBook with me, this was a recent status that explains a bit of what the Thanksgiving weekend was like. We were still "just" thinking it was her mental illness causing the unrest, but now we are questioning seizure activity. Hopefully we will have an answer to our concerns soon... 




On Thursday there was not a laugh or even a slight smile from her all day. Teale literally just growled, yelled & was horribly mean to us the entire day. Her soul seemed completely unsettled and very angry. Yesterday was still quite unpredictable & unsettled at times, but she smiled & laughed some, which made the day 100% better. I truly needed to see that joy, even just a little, to renew my faith. Cycles are common with Teale. She goes through weeks of tough, hopefully followed by weeks of happy & calm. The last few weeks have been unpredictable, rages have been more often again, intensity of moods has been high, but Thursday was by far the worst day in a very long time. It broke both Mark & my heart, not for ourselves but for Beau & Gwenn, who will forever remember Thanksgiving 2014 as a very sad day. Our family has no choice but to plug through those days when Teale's moods control us all. Having those days happen on holidays is more common than not. I have often wished for crisis help on days her mental illness is uncontrollable. A place she could go, so we could take a break & renew our souls to continue caring for her. I have wished for magic pills & therapy that cures. On Thursday I wondered much about medical marijuana & if it would have helped Teale to feel more at ease in her very obviously tortured self. I'm often frustrated by not being able to help my daughter enough. There is no greater pain for a parent than to watch your child suffer & to have no ability to help them. How I hope that someday mental illness is not treated as a "closet problem." I pray those who suffer like my Teale someday have the same support and love that a person with another disease gets. The shame associated with mental illness is unproductive & useless to the many people who suffer in silence. It is not Teale's fault she has this challenge. I am not ashamed to discuss it openly b/c I am proud of how much she has taught & improved over the years. Our experience has been able to help countless others who reach out to us for support & advice. Sharing the journey encourages others to seek help, knowing not everyday has to be like "Thanksgiving." There is joy, but some days it is just buried very deep... Keep the faith & support the mentally ill. Their pain is not "just in their heads."

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