I was at a bar and a woman approached me. She had just heard part of my family’s story from a mutual friend. The conversation was about where she worked and a program they do to help parents maneuver the system. The journey of a family like mine is often riddled with trying to understand the system you have been thrown into. Eventually, you discover that parents who have gone before you are your best sources. They understand what services are out there and how to get them. Being open, as I am, I have found to be beneficial for my family’s well fair. When you share needs or concerns, others have the opportunity to also share and often, brainstorm with you. My way is not the right way to someone more private. That is not my point, but I do believe sharing has brought understanding to many who do not live a similar journey. I also believe it has given us more resources because I am a person who seeks help from others. In the beginning, after Teale was born, we felt very isolated and alone. The behaviors that started about the time of Gwenn’s birth, isolated us more. Teale became very unpredictable and explosive. Her moods constantly swinging. At times, I’m sure, her mood swings may have appeared typical of a preschooler, but it was different and exhausting...
It was a challenge to get help or even empathy, that Teale’s rages were not “just” a five year old with developmental delays. Her rages were not our our parenting. They weren’t typical preschool frustration. Her intense mood swings were not because we weren’t more scheduled or because we weren’t learning sign language fast enough. Her mood disorder was mental illness, from her severe brain damage. Back then I was much less confident in my parenting of Teale. I believed every negative thought thrown at us. I believed it was us, I believed it was having Gwenn, I believed just about any reason, because all I wanted was normalcy. I wanted the behavior specialist to be miracle workers, I wanted the psychiatrist to fix, not just Teale, but us all. We were broken, our hearts ached but we clung to our faith. I've lived much since those early years and what I've most learned is that I need to believe and trust in me. I would love to get the chance to be on the front line, with a family going through the very difficult beginning stages of mental illness. I would love to help them feel heard and loved. My wish would be to give them hope, because with hope, you can step forward.
It was a challenge to get help or even empathy, that Teale’s rages were not “just” a five year old with developmental delays. Her rages were not our our parenting. They weren’t typical preschool frustration. Her intense mood swings were not because we weren’t more scheduled or because we weren’t learning sign language fast enough. Her mood disorder was mental illness, from her severe brain damage. Back then I was much less confident in my parenting of Teale. I believed every negative thought thrown at us. I believed it was us, I believed it was having Gwenn, I believed just about any reason, because all I wanted was normalcy. I wanted the behavior specialist to be miracle workers, I wanted the psychiatrist to fix, not just Teale, but us all. We were broken, our hearts ached but we clung to our faith. I've lived much since those early years and what I've most learned is that I need to believe and trust in me. I would love to get the chance to be on the front line, with a family going through the very difficult beginning stages of mental illness. I would love to help them feel heard and loved. My wish would be to give them hope, because with hope, you can step forward.
