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Friday, February 24, 2017

Learning to Let Go

We are slowly working on transitions for Teale to be in the care of Beau, eventually. The process & thoughts that flood my mind are so overwhelming. I am realizing all the things I automatically know & do for Teale's care that I never voice, even to Mark. We are a good team & support our family in certain roles/duties that the other may never do or even know about. It has worked well in our life, but the thought of handing over the reigns to anyone, is a struggle.
I know I'm a bit of a control freak. I need/want Teale cared for to my standards. Starting a notebook of every detail of care may help me to let go, as I work through this process, but will I ever be at peace with "the letting go?" There are many before me, who have had to give up care of their special needs children. I try to learn from their experiences. I try to be realistic, Teale could easily outlive me by thirty years. Someday, I will be too old or gone & that day is slowly creeping up on us. So before it is too late & I need the transition immediately, I will prepare as best I can. Loving a child with many needs teaches us much, but letting go probably comes the hardest. 

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