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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Before I Had You

Before I had you I believed parents of children with special needs had more control than they do.

Before I had you, I may have wondered why your weight was so high and why your parents were not teaching you healthy eating.
Before I had you, I may have wondered why your overbite was not being fixed by braces.
Before I had you, I may have wondered why you wore clothes that are much too big or much too small.
Before I had you, if I saw you do something impolite, I would have wondered why manners were not taught to you.
Before I had you, if I saw you with hair that needed washing, I would wonder what was so hard about bathing you?
Before I had you, I would have thought, if she were my kid, her teeth would get brushed, so they didn't get so discolored.
Before I had you, your teenage acne would have been controllable and you would not pick your face.
Before I had you, you would not rage in public and hit your own Mother, Father or sibling.
Before I had you, all children with special needs were simple and sweet.

Before I had you, I didn't understand.

I thought parents of children who had special needs just didn't care. I thought they hadn't taught. I thought they gave up too easily. I judged and I wondered why? I imagined you as my child, everything that bothered me fixed, because, after all it is just about my being in charge as the parent. Before I had you, I had control.

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