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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Relief

 The new antipsychotic medication is giving Teale much relief. Her raging has been far less, her badly bitten arm is healing and she is much calmer most of the time. The warning about her increased appetite has proven true at times. She seemed to be unable to stop eating at dinner the other night, concerning us greatly at the time. Luckily, those times are few so far. We are playing with the smallest dose possible that still helps her but hopefully keeps the side effects at bay. This past weekend was the best in a very long, long time. She didn't rage even once and she didn't bite her own arm. Sure it wasn't perfect, we still had to live around Teale much to keep her calm, but that we are fairly used to. Mark and I joke that if we ever separated for whatever reason, no one would want either of us with our family being so complicated. We also have said to each other jokingly that if one of us was ever crazy enough to have an affair, that person gets the kids! Believe me, I won't be having an affair and I truly believe Mark won't either, but laughter and jokes help us. Laughter is how we get through much. Teale's rages are sad at the time they are happening, but usually something will happen in one that can make us laugh after all is said and done. In one of her fits she suddenly saluted us! I'm not kidding, she gave us two fingers at her forehead and out to salute. For all I know about sign language, maybe it was a purposeful sign at us? Mark at the time called her "An angry Girl Scout" and we laughed about it for days. She can be our biggest source of laughter and of sadness. She gives us much comic relief with actions like the angry Girl Scout or the flipping Mark off. There are countless stories of hope from her rages also. Times when we were in public and I felt like God sent the perfect person to help me. Times when one of us was hurt by rude comments, but had a teachable moment in which we were able to change a heart. I was telling a friend at our church about the flu shot incident and when I was done, she said "and you are still smiling, your amazing." I don't find us amazing, but I do know we deal well. Maybe it is because Mark and I have become a bit twisted over the years of living with this level of stress? But I believe it is healthy that we can laugh so often, seeing the humor in our life helps more than anything else. Beau and Gwenn are also able to do this. Beau does a "mean" imitation of Teale in a rage and at the right time, it cracks me up. Often Teale's behaviors are our entertainment, maybe that offends some of you, but we need a way to survive this. Last night Teale said "I can't believe Beau driving!" Beau is just learning to drive and Teale had never seen him pull out of the driveway, but last night she did. I responded "Yah, isn't that weird?" Teale not hearing the word I said correctly replied "Yah, that is willy wude!" Translation: "really rude." I couldn't help but laugh and share the story with Beau. Seriously, I'm glad to have my Teale back, she may not be perfect, but as I seem to learn over and over again, "It could always be worse!"

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