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Thursday, March 26, 2015

Too Honest

I've been called out several times in my life as being too honest. I am an open book, if I feel it, generally I say it. It is a quality either loved or hated. If asked a question or my opinion, you will get the truth from me, even if it is not really what you wanted to hear. I think over the years I've mellowed some, mostly because Mark is the total opposite of me. He is thoughtful to a point, he never rushes to judgement or says anything off the cuff. It actually drives my immediate family crazy how thoughtful Mark is as he speaks. What takes an average person a couple sentences, Mark stretches out and takes his time explaining. I think the toughest calls Mark has had to make have been concerning the births of both Beau and Teale. He had a tough time knowing what to say, they were alive, but the births were rough and the future uncertain. I've asked him over the years what he said and the reactions, but much is a blur at this point. I believe Mark is a good match for me, he slows down my thoughts and helps me to see different sides to things. I also believe I am the same for him, I get him to think out of his box. Over the years I'm sure we have rubbed off on each other, but still there are times I want to blurt out exactly how I feel and Mark has to hold me back. Recently I took a new job, learning the politics of this environment has had some challenges for me. There are obvious flaws in the system and much the administration seems to not see or ignore. Since I have worked for myself most of my life, it is tough to hold back my "too honest" comments.  I run practically everything past Mark, but me, being me, I have slipped a few times too. The other day I said something that obviously everyone knows, but choices to ignore. I'm not sure my honestly was welcomed. I may need to channel Mark more!
I took some time to get to know the people before opening up. After a month there, I have started to share more about myself, my experiences and my opinions. Today I have a meeting with my supervisor to discuss how things have been going. I know there are many things I love about the job, but there are also many things I think could be improved. It will be interesting to see if the real me comes out or if I am more like my dear husband, Mark...

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