The decision to put Teale on an antipsychotic was hard won. She had suffered for years, all of us had. We had tried a few but the side effects had caused more harm than good. At first when we started her first antipsychotic I remember thinking ~ "Wow, this is going to really change our life." Soon the doses would need increasing, her eating was so out of control. We felt like all we did was prepare food for her and her weight doubled within a month. Those were tough times, we saw some good, but to continue seemed foolish and her health was suffering. She had gone from 30 pounds to close to 60 pounds, her breathing was labored and she just seemed so uncomfortable. So we made the decision to wean her off and the behaviors came back full force. Her doctors and us would research and try other medications or we would combine medications in hopes of finding the perfect cocktail for Teale. Her brain damage made it more unpredictable how she would react to medications, so experimenting was the only way. She would have the rare side effect of mania or a rash or dropping blood pressure. We just couldn't get it right. Soon Mark and I accepted her life, our life as the best it could be. It wasn't perfect, but we were managing and maturity helped as Teale understood abstract thinking more. But then August of 2011 hit, Teale's behaviors went from managing to scary. She was explosive constantly, abusive, violent and without a filter Teale was BRUTAL! It was a month of complete hell. We had many doctor appointments to try and tweak this new level of intensity. I remember the blood drawl to check her medication levels being done just the day before on a Saturday. Her doctor also checking functioning levels, including thyroid. I had not expected to hear from her doctors until at least Monday, maybe even Tuesday and I remember hoping they would discover the reason my daughter was so off. I had taken Teale out by myself that Suday morning. It was a tricky thing for me to go out alone, but I wanted to try and give Mark a break. Teale had grown bigger than me that Summer, so my ability to control her physically was difficult. I kept my cell handy, knowing I could call for help if I needed to. As I stood in the store, my cell rang and it was one of her main doctors, Dr Tom. He started to explain the blood test results and that they had found the issue, her thyroid was showing signs of Hoshimoto's Disease. Soon my cell showed I had another call coming in, it was Teale's pediatrician, Dr Dave. Here it was Sunday morning and both her doctors were on top of this. I remember the confusion, wishing I was home with Google to research what was being bombarded at me. I also remember thinking how Blessed we were to have such caring doctors and or was this more serious than I knew? I know they were both worried about Mark and my mental state, as Teale was literally biting her own arm so much it looked like hamburger, on top of her abuse toward all of us. I had expressed how broken I had felt to Mark and both of them. The weeks had been exhausting, not only because of her behavior, but also because she hardly slept. I stood in the store trying to absorb the information. I stood there with Teale bugging me as to why my eyes were filled with tears. I just wanted to get home to Mark and get a better grasp on what we were dealing with. ~ to be continued ~
