The Kiss

As I have told in past post, Teale is very sensory defensive. She hates being touched, except on her own terms and this would mean in a rough and tumble way, never is she cuddly! Recently there has been "improvement" in this. I have been asking to kiss her on the forehead, as we tuck her in at night, randomly during the day and also as a kind of payment for something she wants me to do for her. She can do many things for herself, but sometimes she gets stuck and needs to control us by demanding we do something for her. Quite frankly it is often not worth the fight if she asks me for something, even if she can do it herself. I always say, "Teale you can do that." and sometimes she will, but other times you can tell it will be a battle if pushed. So that is how it began, I started asking her for some physical "payment" before doing what she wanted. I tried high fives, hugs, her kissing me on the cheek and probably more. But since forehead kisses have been on and off part of her bedtime routine for years, she agreed to that. It has gotten better and better as she gets more comfortable with the idea. For me it is a gift as I have never had this with her, a show of physical affection. The funny part is, she ALWAYS wipes away my kiss! I have worked on that part for years, whenever she allowed me to kiss her goodnight. I ask her to concentrate and NOT wipe away my kiss. She agrees and you can see her deep thought, you can even see her try to keep her hand down, but inevitably, she wipes my kiss away. The other night I asked her if I could give her a kiss and she told me with a twinkle in her eye "No, kiss your boyfriend." Guess I should explain that one, my husband of 22 years is my boyfriend. Teale started referring to Mark, as my boyfriend about a year ago. So, anyway, I looked at Mark, who is over a foot taller than me and asked him to bend over so I could kiss him the forehead, just to be funny. She got the joke and laughed, but then quickly, she wiped his forehead for him!